“Cindy” (A Former User)

I’ve looked at porn for as long as I can remember.  I first came across a men’s magazine when I was cleaning my dad’s desk one day.  I don’t even remember how young I was – but I was very young.  When I was in high school and college I remember looking at magazines and videos with friends.  Sometimes we would go to XXX movies or even a strip club.  Because all my friends did it, I didn’t realize there was anything wrong with it.  In fact I’d always thought of it as a good thing.  I thought the stories would add a bit of “spice” to my marriage and keep my husband happy.  I was trying so hard to be the good wife.  Over the years I’ve known so many people who look at porn – women as well as men – some young, some old – some married, some single – some gay and some straight.  I thought as long as sex was between consenting adults that there wasn’t anything wrong with it.

Then a WELS pastor explained to me what God’s Word said about those things.  I found his thoughts interesting, but I still didn’t see what or who I was hurting.  I was happy with it, my husband was happy, so who was I hurting?  But I couldn’t have been more wrong.  As I got older and learned more about the Bible, I realized how far off the path God had planned for me that I had strayed.  I never really thought I was “addicted” to porn…I just liked to read or look at it on occasion.  However, as I was faced with stopping it entirely I found what a struggle it was.  I had so many good reasons why I did it (I was bored, I was looking for some excitement in my life/marriage, I was stressed and wanted to relax, I was in pain and wanted the endorphins to kick in to relieve my pain).  So many excuses and none of them acceptable to God.  Praise the Lord that I now have people in my life who help me stay away from porn, instead of encouraging me to use it.